fakeboyfriend

Well, here it is, yet another day after Thanksgiving and the sales are on. What can get you through the hustle and bustle of the shopping crowds? Why fantasies of fakeboyfriends, of course!

Standing in line for a long time? Let your mind wander into a fantasy about being rescued from the boredom by Keifer Southerland’s character on 24 as he storms into the department store in a race against time. He has to find the hidden fashion doll that contains a biological weapon and he needs your help to find the right one. Only the mother of young daughters could identify the doll that just doesn’t look quite right amongst the gazillion dolls in the toy section of the store.

Perhaps you don’t like that fantasy, so create your own. But, whatever you do, don’t just stand there in line wasting moments of your life on mental lists and misanthropic thoughts. Have fun out there!

My husband and I went to see the new James Bond movie, Quantum of Solace, yesterday. We had a great time and not just because we got to do something as adults without the kids in tow. It was an action-packed, exciting movie. It was almost too action-packed for my taste. When we left I told my husband that I felt like I needed to watch a good chick flick to counteract all the testosterone flying around in the Bond movie. But . . .

I still enjoyed the movie. I wasn’t sure that I would like any Bond other than Brosnan, but I do. Daniel Craig is an excellent Bond. And, finally, there is a Bond my age on screen. Of course, that means I’m getting older.

Well, we did enjoy watching the movie and I loved watching Craig. He is good looking and seems so real. Bond is not a superhero in Craig’s performance of the character, but rather a highly trained specialist who makes mistakes. He’s rather down to earth, actually.

Ever since we saw the movie, less than 24 hours ago, I have been having delightful fantasies of being a Bond woman (I refuse to call myself a “girl” as I haven’t been one in many years–yes, I’m a stubborn feminist). Of course in the fantasies I am Bond’s equal. I can shoot any kind of weapon, perform hand to hand combat with ease and seduce a villain into telling me anything I want to know. I’m hot and cool at the same time. My banter with Bond is witty and sexy, but I don’t allow him to just bed me with ease. He has to earn it, which he may never do.

I have many excellent fantasies roaming around my head this fine morning. And, today, Thanksgiving Day, I am thankful for an active imagination that takes me places I am likely never to go. So, of which fantasies are you most thankful?

So, I hear that Christian Slater has a new show called “My Own Worst Enemy” . . . I haven’t seen it, yet. I also hear that it’s getting the axe, already. I didn’t even have time to develop a crush. I’ve had many a crush on Christian Slater in the past, so I assume that I would once again if I were to watch this show. So, what to do? Should I give myself the opportunity to develop this crush or give it a miss? I mean, I could go online to watch the episodes, but then it’s a big tease. I know the show’s going to quit production. I develop a crush and then the show goes off and I don’t get anymore stimulus for my fantasies. This is one of the things that is so frustrating about Hollywood. They take good shows and let them slip away while pushing bad shows at us over and over again. Maybe that’s why I tend to watch BBC shows more since they give good shows a chance.

So, what to do? Should I watch or not? Have you watched? What do you think? Is it worth the effort and the short crush time? Yeah, I know, crushes are fickle and short by nature . . . but Slater may well be worth it.

Do your fakeboyfriends ever graciously make an appearance in your night dreams? It is a rare occasion for me when it happens. Usually my night dreams are filled with trying to find something or someone or get something accomplished. They are also mostly about my family and, occasionally, my friends. My night dreams are the common “workplace frustration” dreams or the “fears of losing one of my kids” dreams.

So, when a fakeboyfriend actually makes an appearance in a night dream, it is a cause for celebration as well as fodder for many daydreams the next day or so. I have tried many times to think about fakeboyfriends as I fall asleep in hopes that those thoughts will integrate into my dreams. But, alas, it rarely works. Or, perhaps those dreams do happen, but they are in the middle of the night and by the time morning rolls around they have been forgotten. What about you? What types of night dreams do you have with fakeboyfriends?

Okay, if your most recent viewings of Ken Branagh have been of his portrayal of Gilderoy Lockheart in Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, he deserves another look. Particularly, look at his Benedick in his version of Shakespeare’s Much Ado About Nothing. I have been showing that to my students over the past week and falling in love with the character again. I think many of my female students are right there along with me, too, judging from their comments.

Branagh’s Benedick is witty, cute and engaging, despite his slight pomposity in the first half of the movie.  His love for Beatrice, once he decides that he loves her, is inspiring. I want my husband to be so devoted to me that he would challenge someone to a duel. Not that I would want him to actually do it, or would even let him. I just want him to be willing to do it.

So, if anyone is looking for me over the next few days, away with thee to Messina! There will I be finding a way to convince Benedick to hang his bugle on my bedpost instead of Beatrice’s.

When considering fakeboyfriend possibilities, do game show hosts count? They are real people being themselves on TV rather than actors portraying fictional characters. They are still distanced from the rest of us non-famous people, though. And one could argue that even though they are still real people they are in a way a caricature of themselves while they are hosting the show.  Okay, I’ve convinced myself . . . I know, that didn’t take much convincing as I guess I really want to be able to count them.

The problem then becomes who to pick as a fakeboyfriend. I have memories from childhood of watching Richard Dawson kissing all the women on The Family Feud. I was never attracted to him, though. I can’t think of a single game show host that I find attractive, actually. Not Bob, not Drew, not Alex, not Dick, not anyone. With the exception of Drew, they are all much older than I am as well, so that may be part of the issue. I tend not to be attracted to men who are much older than me. The game show host that comes the closest to being attractive to me is Howie Mandel, but I think that’s because he physically reminds me of my husband. And, that’s not fakeboyfriend criteria, I must say.

Is there any game show host that you think is attractive and worthy of fakeboyfriend fantasies?

Who helps you out and gives you advice when you are having trouble with your fakeboyfriend? Well, it must be your fake best friend, of course! And, who qualifies to be a fake best friend? Any character in the same play, TV show, film, book or other media from which you find your fakeboyfriend is a potential fake best friend. Okay, yeah, I know, this is a little weird. But, hey, if you are indulging your fantasies for stress relief, then you might as well create a whole world for yourself. As my mama always said, “If you’re gonna dream, dream big.”

Personally, I like gay men as fake best friends (real ones tend to make excellent real best friends, too, actually). You do have to take quality into consideration when looking for a good fake best friend. Will from Will & Grace obviously makes a great best friend. You might have to fight Grace for him, though. Jack, however, is not good fake best friend material as he is goofy, spastic and too self-absorbed. He wouldn’t listen when you are having difficulties with your fakeboyfriend. What you really need in a good fake best friend is a character who can listen well and give you good advice about how to fix the mess you’ve made with your fakeboyfriend. So, get in there (in your brain) and rummage around for additional fantasy material to enhance your world of daydreams.

So, did you watch the episode of House titled “Joy?”

 If you didn’t, then let me warn you now that I am about to give a spoiler. If you didn’t see it, yet, and don’t want to know what happened, then don’t read on until you have seen it (which you can do by going to www.fox.com and clicking to watch full episodes).

Alright . . . for those of you who have stayed with me. What do you think about House and Cuddy kissing? It was difficult to tell which one instigated the kiss. It looked a bit more like Cuddy to me. But, then again, it could have been House or it could have been mutual. No matter who started it, they were certainly both enjoying the kiss. And, I have to admit to a huge amount of jealousy. He’s my fakeboyfriend. She needs to leave him alone. Then again, my selfishness aside, they have been dancing around each other for a long time now. I’m beginning to think that they deserve each other. I know that’s a harsh thing to say about Cuddy, but she has been enabling, putting up with and sparring with House for so long. If she didn’t like him (and I do mean, “like like”) then she wouldn’t have stuck around for so long. She would have found another job at another hospital far away.  I think Cuddy and House are meant for each other, really. But, that doesn’t mean that he’s not mine anymore, at least in my own head. My guess is that Cuddy will begin backpeddaling immediately.  For now, though, we will have to wait and see what happens to find out if the kiss leads to other ones.

Hi everyone,

I apologize for being absent for over a week, but one of my kids got a sinus infection that was complicated by pneumonia. At the same time I had a major allergy flare up as well. Things were not happy around here. But, a few antibiotics later and my child is doing much, much better. I will begin new posts immediately!

Thanks,

kcsh69